


Never Thought I'd Resort to This

by XiuChen4Ever



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol - Freeform, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gift Exchange, Gift Fic, Hockey, M/M, Past Relationship(s), So Chanyeol Is The Designated Asshole For This One, Verbal Abuse, ski trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21903613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XiuChen4Ever/pseuds/XiuChen4Ever
Summary: It was supposed to be an epic ski vacation to celebrate the end of the semester.  Instead, Baekhyun is doomed to play third wheel for two weeks straight while having to simultaneously dodge awkward moments with his ex.  Who can blame him for taking desperate measures to save his sanity?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Comments: 49
Kudos: 243
Collections: kbas secret santa 2019





	Never Thought I'd Resort to This

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reebeegee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reebeegee/gifts).



> Dear reebeegee:
> 
> I want you to know that my failure at bingo achievement is not a reflection of my affection for you, just that I ended up writing you one meaty fic instead of a cluster of smaller ones. Sadly, I did not think I could pull off a decent post-zombie-apocalypse Hogwarts Stardew Valley Princess Mononoke vampire-detective AU (but I would read the hell out of that fic if anyone does manage to write one). So you get a plain old real-world AU with the following definitely-claimed bingo space:  
> -FAKE DATING  
> It was written in all caps (and was the only one written in all caps) so I went with it being the most exciting. I've never written a fake dating AU before, either, so it was a fun new thing for me to try.
> 
> I am also cheekily claiming the following squares, which I am listing so astute readers can perhaps enjoy noticing how I "bent the rules" to do so:  
> -Try to make "fetch" happen  
> -Fighting on the ice, fucking off the ice  
> -We call everything on the ice love  
> -What happens off planet stays off planet  
> I will point out my feeble justifications for these squares in the end notes so you can boo me properly.
> 
> Unfortunately, I cannot claim the "we do not speak of trees or fish in this free space" because I was compelled to mention conifer copulation. I am thoroughly disgusted with myself.
> 
> But also really pleased with myself because:  
> -I genuinely enjoyed writing this fic. It flowed from my fingers so quickly, even I was excited to learn what happened next.  
> -I tried out new things!  
> -I am really proud of how this turned out.
> 
> One last note: I chose Baekhyun's ex based on your notp in the theory that if you didn't like reading about them together, perhaps it would be satisfying to read about them broken up. Sorry if this isn't the case! I'm more than happy to go through and change The Designated Asshole to another member, a non-member, or a random name. I feel like in the pursuit of sufficient assholery I wrote the guy rather ooc anyway, so it wouldn't be all that difficult to adapt the role for someone else.
> 
> This is your fic and I want you to love it! So I'm also happy to correct any other pet peeves/inaccuracies (especially sports-related) that might be annoying.
> 
> Thanks to Van for organizing this--I'm really glad I signed up! And really glad reebeegee signed up, so I could create this fic (did I mention I'm really pleased how it turned out? No? Well. I totally am).

❄️☕❄️

Baekhyun smothers a sigh, pretending to enjoy the frozen scenery passing beneath his feet as the chair lift hauls his shivering ass to the top of the mountain for yet another run. The trees look like they’re huddling together for warmth, more than a few of them appearing to be rather intimately entwined beneath their thick blankets of snow. It makes a surprising flash of envy flit through his gut.

He raises a brow at himself beneath his thickly-knit cap. What has his life come to if even conifers have more exciting love lives than he does? It would be so nice if he had a cutie to cuddle up with, too—human, not botanical—someone to help him stay warm on the seven-minute ride through the thin mountain air.

Instead, he’s stuck in a three-person seat with his two best friends. Who are making out with each other. Right next to him.

He’s not as good at suppressing his sounds of distaste as he evidently should be, because Jongdae pulls away from Minseok to sling an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“Sorry, Baek. We don’t mean to be gross right in front of your salad all the time. C’mere, you’re shivering.”

“Aww, poor Baekkie,” Minseok adds, feline eyes giving him a sympathetic look from Jongdae’s other side. “Next time, you ride in the middle so we can keep you warm.”

Baekhyun forces a smile, letting Jongdae’s tiny mittened hands rub his arms through his jacket as if that’s actually going to help. There’s nothing he wants less than to be stuck in between the two lovebirds, especially since they’d been separated for the last six months. Minseok had been studying abroad in China and the three of them are celebrating the end of the semester and the reunion of their previously-inseparable trio.

He doesn’t actually begrudge his friends a happy, healthy relationship. Usually he’s the first to coo and take gooey photos if Dae actually manages to coax his more-reserved boyfriend into trading some kisses in public. And of course Minseok’s going to be much easier to convince since he’s been kiss-deprived for half a year. But Baekhyun’s tolerance for sweetness and love is currently at an all-time low, since they’d booked this ski trip just before Minseok had left. And just before Baekhyun’s boyfriend had left  _ him. _

This was supposed to be a two-week-long double date. Instead, it’s going to be two weeks of his friends feeling sorry for him between their heated makeout sessions and lots and lots of reunion sex.

And to add salt to the wound, Baekhyun’s ex is at the resort, too, having decided to use the train tickets and ski passes he’d paid for in full prior to the break-up. They’d gotten a great package deal, which meant that it had been non-refundable, so the logical, magnanimous part of Baekhyun understands the rationale. And Chanyeol had at least booked a new hotel room for himself which thankfully seemed to be well away from the pair of rooms the quartet had originally booked.

But there’s a mean, petty part of Baekhyun that hates seeing his ex here and evidently perfectly happy by himself, when Minseok’s return has only made Baekhyun realize how miserably alone he is.

Still, he doesn’t want to put a damper on his friends’ good time. They deserve this vacation after their hard work and top marks this semester. Seoul Institute of the Arts is a tough school, and this trip to Yongpyong Resort is their well-deserved reward.

They should absolutely be able to thoroughly reconnect without worrying about Bitter, Party of One tossing and turning in his oversized hotel bed by himself. They’d been great after the breakup, Minseok video-calling Baekhyun just as often as he had Dae, Dae making sure Baekhyun never spent a weekend alone. They’re good friends, and Baekhyun loves them.

He just doesn’t really want to look at their happy, kiss-reddened faces right now.

So when they make it down the mountain once again, Baekhyun waves the pair off when they try to tug him to the ski lift. 

“I can’t feel my toes anymore,” Baek protests with a smile. “I’m just gonna warm up in the lodge for a bit. You go have fun—I’ll catch up with you later.”

There are lots of are-you-sures and we-can-come-with-yous that Baek has to deflect, but eventually the lovebirds are in a two-seater lift chair and Baekhyun’s painfully-single ass (and painfully frozen toes) are installed on a barstool in the lodge. 

The bartender is model-handsome. Baekhyun tosses a flirty wink over a generous tip when his hot cocoa with peppermint schnapps is set in front of him. The guy blushes a little and winks back—but hangs an extra candy cane on the rim of the mug with his left hand, subtly displaying what must be a couple ring.

Disappointing, but unsurprising, given the guy’s looks. At least the mug is nice and warm—Baekhyun wraps icy fingers around it while swallowing back the closest thing to an orgasmic moan he’s had in a while. Well, at least where anyone else could hear him, anyway.

For a moment, the rich chocolate and minty booze have Baekhyun content. But, being Baekhyun, of course his peace couldn’t last.

“Let me get an IPA—the hoppiest one you’ve got.”

Only one hipster would be dorky enough to order pretentious booze in the middle of a laid-back ski resort. So of course the guy sliding onto the stool beside him is the last one Baekhyun wants to see.

“Oh. Baek,” Chanyeol greets when he notices whose lap he’d practically shoved his gangly kneecap into while climbing onto the barstool. He actually smiles at Baekhyun, all teeth and ears and twitching eye that Baek had somehow once found endearing.

“Yeol,” Baek returns, not even pretending to be happy to see him.

“Ah, it’s nice to relax after the end of the semester, isn’t it? And I bet Jongdae is happy to have Minseok back.”

The bartender delivers the poncy-ass bitter-for-bitter’s-sake beer Chanyeol ordered, and the presence of a witness is the only thing modulating Baekhyun’s tone at all.

“We’re  _ all  _ happy to have Min back,” Baekhyun snips. Like he’s not allowed to be excited his friend is back just because he’s not sticking his tongue down the guy’s throat? What the hell, Park Chanyeol.

Chanyeol takes a long swallow of the IPA, doing a passable job of pretending he actually likes it (except that Baekhyun dated him long enough to know his tells). “Oh, of course! But you’re probably giving them a lot of space, am I right?” Chanyeol winks. It looks like a malfunctioning cyborg.

“All of us are having a great time  _ together.” _ Baekhyun’s next pull at his cocoa is longer than usual, just so he doesn’t add a string of curse words that would probably get him thrown out of the nice, classy resort bar.

“Which is why you’re sitting here by yourself.” 

Chanyeol’s leer is absolutely punchable. But before Baekhyun is able to use his hapkido skills inappropriately, an arm drapes casually around his shoulders.

“Sorry I took so long, babe,” a complete stranger says a little breathlessly, giving Baekhyun an apologetic smile and a peck on the temple. “The locker I wanted was jammed and the guy in front of me emptied the change machine—oh, who’s this?”

“Park Chanyeol,” his ex introduces without waiting for Baekhyun to do it. 

He bobs a half-bow and thrusts a giant hand out at the man currently pressed against Baekhyun’s side. The guy takes it, seemingly entirely unintimidated by Chanyeol’s superior height—hell, the stranger isn’t even as tall as Baekhyun. He’s got big round eyes, a heart-shaped smile, and a compact build, yet it’s Yeol that’s wincing as their handshake concludes.

Confused and slightly alarmed, Baekhyun glances at the bartender for help, wondering if the guy will understand if he starts blinking S-O-S in Morse code. But the bartender only smiles, winks, and lifts his chin at the stranger that just finished crushing Chanyeol’s fingers. Then he nods and flashes Baekhyun an ‘OK’ sign.

“I’m Do Kyungsoo,” the stranger introduces, giving Baekhyun’s shoulders a squeeze. “Do you need a refill on your drink, Baek?”

Aaand this stranger—Kyungsoo?—knows his name. This is fine. Yep.

Baekhyun shakes his head and flashes another look at the bartender, who’s thankfully strolling over in response to the stranger’s wave. 

“Sehun!” this Kyungsoo greets the bartender with a bright smile. “Fetch me one of whatever Baek’s having—it smells amazing.”

“Coming right up, Soo,” the bartender says, shooting Baekhyun another little wink.

And suddenly Baekhyun gets it. Or at least, gets part of it? The bartender and Kyungsoo seem to know each other. So either this is an elaborate murder plot of some kind where the unassuming Sehun feeds Kyungsoo potential victims—or the bartender has deployed some sort of decoy-date after overhearing bits of this awkward conversation.

Baekhyun slides an arm around Kyungsoo’s sturdy waist. Better to be murdered than die of ex-induced shrinkage. “Want a sip of mine while you wait?” he offers, giving the stranger an inviting smile. He’s certainly cute enough to be an effective ex-stinging fake.

“Nah, you keep it—I’m glad you had something to keep you warm while you waited for me.”

“How long have the two of you been dating?” Chanyeol asks, eyes narrowed. “You seem awfully…  _ close.” _

Oh, no. Baekhyun isn’t having  _ any _ of this. Not after Chanyeol left him for some guy he hooked up with at a party. He does  _ not _ get to give Baekhyun accusatory, infidelity-implying looks.

“It’s our five month anniversary this week, actually,” Baek says. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“I’m sorry—who are you to Baek?” Kyungsoo asks, shifting so he can twine his fingers with Baekhyun’s hand around his waist.

Chanyeol blinks stupidly. “I’m his—we dated for over a year.”

“Huh. I’ve never heard your name before.” Kyungsoo flashes a smile at the bartender who delivers the requested cocoa. “Babe, you wanna take these to our room and put a movie on or something? Sehunnie won’t mind if we borrow his mugs.”

“Not at all,” the bartender agrees. “Housekeeping will bring them back down later.”

“That sounds great, actually,” Baekhyun smiles, grateful for the excuse to flee Chanyeol’s presence without looking like that’s what he’s doing. “See you around, Yeol.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you,” Kyungsoo adds, barely taking his eyes off Baekhyun to do so. “What movie do you want to watch?”

Baekhyun deploys his best bedroom eyes as he lets Kyungsoo lead him away. “Does it matter?”

For that he gets to walk out of the bar with a cute guy, laughing together, said cute guy’s hand sliding from his shoulders to rest on his ass.

And immediately withdrawing as soon as they’re around the corner to the elevator lobby.

“Sorry if I was too handsy,” Kyungsoo says, blushing a bit as he steps away to a respectful distance. “Sehun texted me that some troll was giving you a hard time—I work in the kitchen—and said it might be a good time to practice my acting. But I’m really sorry if it was weird—I promise I was just trying to help. Sehun said he’d given you the sweetest drink on the menu but you looked like you’d swallowed a lemon as soon as that oaf sat down.”

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun says, missing the warmth of the arm that had just been wrapped around him. “I, uh, really appreciate it, actually. The bartender gave you my name, I take it?”

“Only half of it, actually,” Kyungsoo confesses. “He only heard that guy call you Baek.”

Kyungsoo’s face is so serious, like he’d been on a secret agent mission or something. But with Chanyeol’s dumbfounded expression still seared into his brain, it’s impossible for Baekhyun not to smile at the guy who’d given him that gift.

“It’s Baekhyun,” he says. “Byun Baekhyun.”

“I really am Do Kyungsoo.”

They trade awkward bows, laughing a little at the belated greeting. 

“Nice to meet you, Kyungsoo. Thanks again, and thank the bartender for me—I won’t be dumb enough to go back to the bar any time soon.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have to hide from the guy.” He pulls a mobile phone from his pocket. “I’m usually somewhere around the lodge—the staff stays on site, so after hours I’m still nearby. I could give you my number, and you can text me if you need another save.” 

“Ah, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’re busy, and you probably want to enjoy the perks of working at a ski lodge rather than babysit me.”

“Honestly, it was kind of fun to fluster the guy. I mean, I don’t know what happened between you two but nobody who orders that brand of IPA isn’t at least a little douchey. Besides, I’m studying acting at SeoulArts and it really is good improv practice.”

Baekhyun laughs. “Well, if I’d be doing  _ you _ the favor, then I’m happy to take you up on that. I go to SeoulArts, too, but for vocal performance—I know the pressure of practicing constantly. And the bastard cheated on me, so having a hot guy on call to flaunt in his face would be a satisfying sort of revenge.”

Kyungsoo’s expression doesn’t change much, but his cheeks flush a rather appealing pink. “I don’t know how hot I am, but I happen to be really good at revenge.”

Smiling down at his phone as they trade numbers, Baek tries not to feel weird about this little arrangement. Kyungsoo’s a really cute fake boyfriend whether he realizes or not, and he seems to have Baek’s own penchant for a little mischief. Maybe this vacation could be fun rather than an exercise in endurance.

❄️☕❄️

“He totally wants to get into your long johns, Baekkie,” Jongdae says in response to Baekhyun’s description of Kyungsoo and the request to play along if they see him around.

“He does not,” Baekhyun dismisses, giving Dae’s shoulder a shove with his own. “He wants to practice his acting. He goes to SeoulArts with us.”

“That’s what he  _ says,” _ Jongdae counters, shoving him right back and making the lift chair sway. “Maybe he just likes ‘saving’ people in bars in the hopes that they’ll ‘thank’ him up in their rooms.”

Baekhyun snorts. “I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to that—he’s got that sort of serious-and-shy vibe when he’s not emoting for an audience. It kind of makes me itch to see what he looks like when he’s not paying attention to his expressions.”

Jongdae’s leer is wicked. “Oh, yeah, I absolutely know what you mean. Those dignified-in-public types always look so damn satisfying when you’ve got them fu—”

“I am  _ right here.” _

Jongdae leans around Baekhyun so they can both snicker at Minseok’s indignant expression. It only makes him roll his eyes and cross his arms, pretending to turn away from the two of them in disgust (though he still keeps his back pressed against Baekhyun’s side in an appreciated effort to keep him warm).

“If this Kyungsoo is less shameless than the pair of you, I’m happy to have him around to balance the scales. I mean, if the bartender knows him then it’s likely he really does work at the resort. So while he might be a bit of a greaseball player, he can’t be that bad if his dallying with guests hasn’t gotten him fired.”

“It didn’t seem like this was something he does routinely,” Baekhyun muses. “But then again, if he really  _ is _ an actor, he could already be playing me. I mean, he did get my number.”

“See? He totally wants you naked.”

Baekhyun shivers as the chair lift crests the mountain and Minseok shifts away into a better position for dismount. “I’m definitely not getting naked out here,” he states, pulling his scarf up and his goggles down. “Last one to the lodge pays for hot cocoa.”

❄️☕❄️

Entering the nice warm lodge with his friends makes Baekhyun extra glad he doesn’t feel the need to hide away in his room. It’s somehow both spacious and cozy, with a fireplace crackling merrily on each end and floor-to-ceiling windows showcasing the spectacular mountain views running down each side. The wrought-iron chandeliers give the place a sort of rugged feel, but the furnishings are all warm wood and cushy upholstery, rich jewel tones just adding to the luxe ambiance.

This time, the trio is able to score a cluster of overstuffed armchairs near one of the fireplaces, much to their delight. As the tallest member of the trio (by a whole centimeter over Jongdae and two over Minseok), Baekhyun is therefore designated to hold their spot while the other two get the drinks.

Which unfortunately means that the next time he sees Chanyeol, Baekhyun’s sprawled over three armchairs like a moronic amputee octopus.

But he’s a moronic octopus with excellent muscle memory at least, because he’s able to text  _ douche alert near south fireplace _ with only a few glances at the phone his starfished arm is holding far away from his face. And if Kyungsoo is just a greaseball player, he’s at least one with quick feet along with quick wits.

So Baekhyun only has to watch Chanyeol’s stupid face go from surprised to confused to amused, then eye him with disgust as he swings his ridiculously-long limbs and saunters over, surely to make some snide comment about how short Baekhyun is or how eager he is to spread his legs or something— 

“Babe! You always manage to save us the best cuddle spots.”

—before Kyungsoo is blocking his view of the gangly oaf.

“Do we really need all three of these chairs, though?” Kyungsoo asks when he takes in Baekhyun’s hoarded seating.

“I guess not,” Baekhyun says as he sits up. “Minseok-hyung and Jongdae will probably be gross and share one, but we could be gross right back and share another if you really wanna cuddle.”

“I do like a good cuddle,” Kyungsoo agrees, whipping out his phone. “They’re getting our drinks, I take it?” He taps at it briefly before shoving it back in his pocket and claiming an armchair. “I’m happy to delay cuddles to make sure they have a place to sit when they get back.”

Kyungsoo “notices” Chanyeol as Baek collects himself into a single armchair. “Oh, and if we’re cuddling in a chair together, that frees up one for your friend. Chanyoung, wasn’t it?”

“Chanyeol, actually.”

Annoyance flashes through Baekhyun as his hard-eyed ex moves to take the third chair. Kyungsoo’s supposed to be working with him, not against him. But the brilliance of his fake boyfriend’s evil genius becomes apparent the instant Dae and Min come strolling up (with  _ four _ mugs of boozy cocoa) and Kyungsoo vacates his armchair with a smile and an inviting gesture.

And then promptly squeezes into Baekhyun’s armchair with him, arm around his shoulders and one leg draped over Baekhyun’s knee.

Chanyeol’s face goes sour as he blinks at them.

It’s back to cocksure as soon as he looks up to trade half bows with Jongdae and Minseok, both of whom regard the interloper with narrowed eyes before handing Baekhyun and Kyungsoo each a cup of cocoa with warm, knowing smirks.

Baekhyun gives himself a firm internal lecture that this position—Kyungsoo both holding him close and half-sitting on him—is designed to be a possessive signal to Yeol. It is  _ not _ an intriguing mixture of dominance and submission that indicates the guy would be delightfully versatile in the bedroom.

That doesn’t mean he stops himself from both cuddling back into his fake boyfriend’s embrace and resting his hand on the knee in his lap.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Minseok comments over the rim of his mug, hard eyes on Chanyeol.

Eye twitching stupidly, Chanyeol grins. “Of course I’m here. Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Not really.”

Chanyeol laughs. “Well, of course the two of you must be more glad to see each other—I’m surprised either of you can walk, much less ski.” 

“We’re not fumbling teenagers,” Jongdae scoffs, wrapped around Minseok like a possessive python. “Only a careless, selfish top would fucking think—”

“Dae,” Minseok chides.

Chanyeol looks at Minseok with a smirk. “Bottoms, am I right?”

“—You know some guys are too insecure to switch,” Minseok continues. “They think taking dick will make their own fall off or something.”

The resulting flush makes Chanyeol’s ears glow as red as the fire behind them. “Hey, I’m secure in my manhood.”

“You really shouldn’t be,” Baekhyun mutters into his cocoa. 

Kyungsoo snorts into his own, making whipped cream spatter over both of them. Jongdae guffaws as Minseok hides his smile behind the rim of his mug.

“Whatever—this guy might cream all over you, but I’m definitely the bigger man in the half-pipe.”

“Oh, probably,” Kyungsoo agrees, voice breezy as he wipes Baekhyun’s face with the cuff of his sweater. “Snowboarding was never really my thing.” 

It’s all an act, of course, but the softness of the fabric against his skin combined with the heat of Kyungsoo’s smirk as he runs his cuff alongside Baekhyun’s mouth has him twitching in his long johns and all but missing Chanyeol’s derisive question.

“What  _ is _ your thing? Skiing?”

“Nope,” Kyungsoo says, turning those wide, so-serious eyes back to Chanyeol. “I’ve always been more of a hockey sort of guy.”

“What are you doing on a ski trip, then? Just here to warm Baek’s bed?”

Kyungsoo drops his chin to regard Chanyeol from beneath heavy brows. “You didn’t see the huge-ass frozen pond outside, buddy? Skate rental shack and everything?”

“Well, yeah, but this is a  _ ski _ resort. Nobody comes here just to  _ skate— _ you could do that almost anywhere.”

The withering look Kyungsoo gives Chanyeol is so strong even Baekhyun wants to squirm. Or maybe that’s just because having a guy all up in his personal space for the first time in months is giving his dick overly-hopeful ideas.

“First, it’s just called ‘Yongpyong  _ Resort.’ _ I’m sure they’re happy to take anyone’s money, even if they’ve come just to use the fucking bowling alley.”

Chanyeol’s ears go red and Baekhyun wants to cheer at Kyungsoo’s inadvertently well-placed arrow. They’d chosen this particular resort in the first place because Mr. All-the-cool-kids-are-in-my-bowling-league had been really excited about the funky little alley tucked inside the resort’s sports bar.

“Second, what are you, the fun police? Why do you get to decide what’s worth enjoying for everyone else?”

“It’s your life,” Chanyeol dismisses. “I just think if you’re going to spend the cash, you should do the things you can only do  _ here.  _ I mean, why waste the chance to board where Olympians did?”

“And that brings us to my last point—even if I were just tagging along to enjoy the hotel bed with Baek, it would be absolutely worth every won. And  _ that, _ my friend, is a chance  _ you _ wasted.”

Kyungsoo’s next hearty sip of his cocoa is basically equivalent to a mic drop.

Face almost purple, Chanyeol opens and shuts his mouth a few times as Jongdae cackles. Then he gets up so fast he almost flips the heavy armchair and storms out of the bar.

“So, Kyungsoo, was it?” Minseok says with a smile and a lift of his brow.

“Do Kyungsoo. Nice to meet you.” Kyungsoo disentangles himself from Baekhyun (much to Baekhyun’s regret) and bows politely, palms on his own knees.

Minseok and Jongdae return the greeting, Dae straightening up from his seated bow with a wicked smirk. 

“Oh man, that was so awesome,” Jongdae gushes. “You’re amazing—Baek said you were studying acting? I bet you’re fucking top of your class.”

“I do my best,” Kyungsoo demures. “Do you go all go to SeoulArts?”

Triple nods are joined by a fourth. “That’s cool. It’s a great school.”

“It is,” Minseok agrees. “But Baek said you work at this resort?”

“Yeah—Sehun, the bartender, is my step-brother. His dad’s the head of food service here, so we help out over school breaks—the resort is usually extra-busy then. But I don’t mind helping out—it’s basically a working vacation, and I always meet interesting people.”

He gives Baekhyun an enigmatic little smile. “You guys are definitely the most interesting by far.”

“We do our best,” Minseok says, echoing Kyungsoo’s earlier words with a smirk. 

“I can certainly see that.” Kyungsoo stands up, collecting the now-emptied cocoa mugs. “It was nice to meet you—I’m still on shift or I’d love to stay and chat. But please text me with any further douche alerts—they just get more and more fun.”

“Will do,” Baek assures him, suppressing the urge to stand up and give the guy a goodbye kiss. Instead, he just waves along with his friends as Kyungsoo heads back to the kitchen. 

❄️☕❄️

As a moderately-skilled skier who generally avoids the terrain park but now has a specific reason to stay the fuck away, Baekhyun manages not to run into Chanyeol on the mountain. He has a great time with his friends, staying out as long as he can before it feels like his toes are in legit danger of falling off and his cheeks are bright enough to be used as traffic lights for low-orbiting spacecraft. And then he lounges by the fire, nursing the hot cocoas Sehun sends over, waiting for Kim “One With The Snow” Minseok and Kim “Actual Electric Heater” Jongdae to get tired and/or bored and come down off the mountain for the day.

Then they enjoy the indoor entertainment—yes, even the bowling alley—without Baekhyun feeling like he needs to peek around corners or hide behind ornamental plants. Chanyeol  _ always _ finds them, always feels the need to “join” them, so Kyungsoo just starts meeting up with Baekhyun automatically whenever his shift in the kitchen is done. He gets into character right away, and Baekhyun is struck every time by the irony that the actor treats him way better than any guy he’s ever dated for real.

He’s attentive without being smothering or patronizing, affectionate both verbally and physically without being clingy or inappropriate. He’s polite to Minseok, calling him hyung and deferring to him in the rare event they disagree on a given topic. He’s playful with Jongdae but in an understated sort of way, full of dry humor and deadpan zingers. 

He’s particularly good at turning these in Chanyeol’s direction, often so subtly that the target of his derision doesn’t even catch the insults until Minseok snorts or Jongdae starts laughing. By the third time Chanyeol shows up when the four of them are hanging out, Jongdae whips out his phone and starts a timer, curious as to how quickly Kyungsoo’s acerbic wit will drive the persona non grata away again. Like most in the performing arts, Kyungsoo proves rather competitive, striving to beat his own record on each subsequent attempt. By Thursday, he’s gotten the time down to three minutes, seventeen seconds. 

Baekhyun wants to give the guy an Olympic medal, a Baeksang for Best Actor, or both. Instead, he foots the bill for Kyungsoo’s portion of each evening’s activities, despite his protests. As a compromise, he lets Kyungsoo apply his employee discount, which in some cases means they pay less for four people than they would have with just three. So everybody wins, and Baekhyun is genuinely having the time of his life, even if the whole thing is an elaborate game.

But on Friday, Jongdae flops onto Baekhyun’s bed after changing out of his snow gear, whining that his muscles are sore after six straight days of skiing and he wants to hit the sauna. Baekhyun’s feeling the continuous exertion, too, and as soon as Jongdae mentions it, his body informs him it will stage a violent protest unless he goes along with his friend’s suggestion. 

“Sounds great. Let me just text Kyungsoo that he has the night off before we leave our phones behind,” Baek says, already tapping at the screen.

“You don’t want him to see you shirtless or something?” Minseok asks. “You’ve worked hard at the gym—a week of hot cocoa indulgence hasn’t erased all that.” 

“My abs are definitely melting into nutella after all that rich chocolate,” Baekhyun laughs. “But no—I just don’t expect a guy I barely know to strip down for the sake of my petty revenge.” 

His smile melts to match his abs when Kyungsoo replies to his  _ hitting the sauna 2nite, cu 2morrow probly _ with a sad face and  _ I don’t get to come? I promise not to stare.  _

Jongdae tsks. “You know Chan will find us and whip his tits out like a thousand-won stripper.”

“I can fend him off myself like a big boy for once,” Baekhyun huffs, typing out  _ its not that, i dont want u 2 b uncomfortable _

Kyungsoo’s response to that is  _ I’ve already guessed Minseok-hyung is buff as hell, my ego will be fine. _ This is followed by a winky face and then  _ No pressure, though. If you want time with just your actual friends, I totally understand. _

Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun’s fingers move to quickly send off  _ u r my actual friend, u dork _ followed by  _ ur only fake in the boyfriend category. _

There’s a pause, then  _ So if I show up at the sauna in 20 minutes, we can hang out? _

Jongdae pokes his head over Baekhyun’s shoulder to see what’s taking him so long, then bursts out laughing uncomfortably close to Baekhyun’s ear. He glares at one obnoxious friend, then texts the other  _ only if thats what u rly want _ before plugging his phone into the charger and abandoning it on the nightstand. Then he grabs his swim trunks and a still-laughing Jongdae and hauls them both out of the room.

❄️☕❄️

Kyungsoo’s already at the sauna when they arrive, leaning against the wall outside the changing area in forest green swim trunks and a black T-shirt. Baekhyun almost trips over nothing as he takes in the sight, having never seen his faux beau in anything but loose-fitting, full-length pants and oversized long-sleeved shirts.

It’s not that Kyungsoo’s showing that much bare limb, it’s that those bare limbs are barely contained. The inelastic sleeves of the T-shirt are stretched taut over rounded shoulders and thick biceps above muscular forearms. And his shorts—oh, god, his  _ shorts— _ are designed with slits up the sides like a runner’s, because otherwise those massively meaty thighs would burst free.

Smiling in a way he hopes is friendly instead of freaky, Baek waves and heads into the changing room without a word, despite Kyungoo’s raised eyebrow.

“Well, whatever else he’s lying about, he’s definitely an athlete,” Minseok comments as he drops their duffel bag on the bench.

“What—how can you tell?”

“Because he’s got a purpose-built body rather than one that aims for the aesthetic—not that he isn’t a nice little snack, he just doesn’t seem concerned as much with how he  _ looks— _ cutting enough body fat and water weight that his muscles are more visible, working out lesser-used muscle groups just for the sake of noticeable definition, and so on. He looks like the type that cares more about what his body can  _ do— _ doesn’t matter if you can’t see his abs, that doesn’t make them any less strong, ready to support his core and help him move the way he needs to.”

“Hyung’s vocal about this shit because he’s got the type of body that builds muscle well and keeps it up easily but has a harder time showing it off,” Jongdae chuckles.

Minseok scowls. “Whereas you have the metabolism of a fucking hummingbird on meth, and if you skip two days at the gym all your lovely muscles deflate like leaky balloons.”

“Which is why I don’t bother trying anymore. Plus when my forearms get that big, my poor hands look even smaller. It’s too weird.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at their married-couple bickering. “Whatever, you’re both hot, go change,  _ please _ keep your hands to yourselves in the process.”

“What if we just wait for you to finish changing before we—”

Jongdae’s voice is cut off with a yelp when Minseok snaps him in the ass with a towel. 

“We’re still technically in public, you horndog,” he chides. “And you know I like to take my time. It’d be rude to make Baek and Kyungsoo wait.”

“Ugh, I hate you both so much sometimes,” Baekhyun laughs, retreating into a stall to swap loungewear for swimwear.

“You wouldn’t hate us as much if you actually seduced that thicc—”

Jongdae yelps again, then starts whining about spousal abuse.

Baekhyun smothers another laugh. He knows exactly what Jongdae’s game is and he’s sure Minseok does too, even though he succumbs to his boyfriend’s manipulation every time. Jongdae gets fresh, Minseok retaliates, Jongdae whines, Minseok gets sick of hearing it and kisses the pout off his lips. He only hopes Jongdae will be satisfied with a simple kiss—he really likes Kyungsoo, but he’s afraid it would get hella awkward hella quick if he had to sit there and not ogle the fuck out of him without Jongdae to distract him and Minseok to politely carry the conversation. 

Still, he changes quickly and hurries out, unwilling to either leave Kyungsoo waiting or overhear whatever Minseok does to mollify his lover.

Of course, when Baek steps out of the changing room, it’s not just Kyungsoo who’s waiting outside.

“Baek!” Chanyeol smirks, sauna robe not only untied but “casually” slid off a shoulder to expose a bulging, too-shiny pec. “Are you here for the hot oil massage, too?”

“Why the fuck do you care why I’m here?” Baekhyun all but snarls, beyond done with this whole stalking-and-harassment thing. Chanyeol fucking left  _ him. _ Why the fuck can’t he just leave Baekhyun alone?

“Yeah, dude,” Kyungsoo says, stepping over and taking Baekhyun’s hand, twining their fingers together. “it’s really none of your business.”

“Ah, of course not—I just remember how much Baek loved it when I  _ rubbed him down, _ if you know what I mean.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes hard enough to hurt. “Dude, I have a dick. Dicks like being warm and wet. It’s not like you had some special technique. You’re not, like, the dick whisperer.”

Kyungsoo barks out a laugh just as Min and Dae exit the changing room (looking only slightly more flushed than they should for guys who’ve yet to enter the sauna).

“What’s funny?” Dae asks, looking from Kyungsoo’s smirk to Chanyeol’s scowl. “Dammit, what’d we miss?”

“Baek just informed Fabio here that he’s not the dick whisperer,” Kyungsoo reports, sounding so proud that Baekhyun has to fight to keep his face impassive.

“Oh, whatever—you know you loved having these big hands all over you.”

“Because I have functioning nerve endings,” Baekhyun scoffs, shoving aside the thought that Kyungsoo’s warm palm against his own feels much better than Chanyeol’s oafish paws had ever felt on  _ any  _ body part. “Do you honestly think you’re some kind of Cassanova or something?”

“I know I have  _ more to offer _ than this  _ soft, little _ penguin who just waddles around on the ice all day.”

Minseok strides forward, shoulders back, jaw sharp enough to kill a man. But Kyungsoo holds out his free hand and Jongdae grabs Min’s shoulders from behind, triggering a frustrated rumble.

“Penguin, hmm? I suppose you think that with your big, muscley body, you’re the superior athlete?”

“That’s only obvious.”

“And of course you think you can out-skate a mere penguin.”

“Please—look how stubby your legs are. You could never keep up.”

“Smart guy like you knows which end of a hockey stick to hold onto? Make black dot go in net?”

“Duh.”

“Good. There’s a pick-up hockey game happening tomorrow afternoon at two. You wanna measure dicks, feel free to meet me on the ice.”

Chanyeol’s jaw works. “Fine. Don’t be surprised when you come up a little  _ short.” _ He stands up, shooting a greasy look at Baekhyun. “After I humiliate Pororo here, I might let you congratulate me properly, Baek. Remind you what it is you’re missing out on.”

“What, venereal disease?” Jongdae asks, brows scornful.

Kyungsoo’s guffaw is glorious, setting the prominence of his throat bouncing in a way that makes Baekhyun want to bite it. Minseok’s eyeroll is fond, and Chanyeol’s tight face as he stalks off is very, very satisfying.

“Aww, I kinda wanted to hit him,” Minseok grumbles. “Woulda been so fucking satisfying after that insulting bullshit.”

Kyungsoo chuckles. “What is that quote about not sinking to someone’s level?”

“Something about they’ll beat you with experience?” Jongdae offers.

“Yes, that’s the one.” Kyungsoo’s smirk is pure evil. “So instead, I’m gonna drag him down to  _ my _ level, and kick his arrogant ass. And it’s hockey,” he shrugs. “So chances are, somebody’ll still get to hit him.”

“But you must have actual work to do,” Baekhyun protests, feeling more than a little guilty things escalated from play-acting to actual competition. “You don’t have to get  _ this  _ involved in my petty revenge. I mean, we’re not  _ actually _ dating—you don’t have to prove anything—”

“Ah, but it’ll be so much fun to take that height-supremacist down a peg or three,” Kyungsoo chuckles. “The game’s after hours, because there are half a dozen of us employees that like to play—we just recruit whoever’s around to make up teams and have at it. We usually split ourselves up to make the teams even, but Joonki can out-skate all of us in his sleep—he was a short-track speed skater, national-games level before he got injured. We usually make him a defenseman instead of letting him play centre, because otherwise the game’s basically over before it starts.”

“But he’ll just happen to play center this time against Chanyeol?” Minseok guesses.

“Oh absolutely,” Kyungsoo nods. “We didn’t want to splash out for the full pads needed to keep a live goalie safe, so we just tape old mannequins from the sports shop into the goals dressed in worn-out rental pads. So we still need five men per side—you wanna carve some ice with us?” His big brown eyes flit from Baekhyun to his friends.

“Dae’s hopeless at any sport with a ball—that probably extends to sports with a puck,” Minseok laughs, ruffling Jongdae’s hair fondly to dislodge his boyfriend’s pout. “I’ve never played hockey, but I’ve played soccer since grade school. I’m sure it’s not at all the same, but I can keep my balance on skates and definitely understand the concept of ‘make black dot go in net.’”

Kyungsoo snorts. “That puts you ahead of most of the guests that want to give the game a try. Do you have a helmet? Most of us just wear the basic, open-faced kind, so if you've got a ski helmet already that'll work.” When Minseok nods, Kyungsoo shifts in their shared seat to raise a brow at Baek. “What about you?”

“I’ll warm the bench with Jongdae,” Baekhyun decides. “I can skate okay, but I’ll let you team-sports jocks do your thing.”

“Wow, I’ll feel like a tournament knight or something, fighting for your honor.” Kyungsoo’s face is serious but the glint in his eye is playful. “You gonna give your champion a token of your favor?”

Baekhyun shrugs, trying not to let a smile curve his own lips at the ridiculousness of this whole thing. “You can borrow my scarf if you want.”

“Oh, that’s the kind of cheese I am here for,” Minseok laughs. “Dae, lend me your scarf, too. I’ll be your noble knight in swishing snowpants.”

“You are such a dork,” Jongdae huffs. “I might just pretend not to know you. Watch a movie in our room instead of freezing my ass off beside a frozen pond.”

This triggers big aegyo eyes from Minseok above an exaggerated pout. Jongdae tries to push his face away, but Minseok captures Jongdae’s wrists and nuzzles his neck, making a ridiculous squeaky noise as Dae whines in protest at his own favorite technique being turned against him.

Baekhyun scoffs behind a smile. This is normally the point where he’d jump on his playfully-squabbling friends and smother them with big smacky kisses or something, but he’s still holding hands with Kyungsoo. Still basically a stranger. Who’s going to interrupt his leisure time with his friends to humiliate Baekhyun’s ex on Baek’s behalf. Like an actual boyfriend.

And who is now wrapping a sturdy arm around Baekhyun’s waist and regarding Min and Dae from over his shoulder, face  _ way too close _ to Baekhyun’s own.

“They have such a fun relationship,” Kyungsoo murmurs, smile playing around the edges of his full lips. “I’m totally envious.”

Baekhyun tries not to notice how warm and sturdy Kyungsoo’s thinly-clad body is against his own. “They’re so gross,” he condemns. Then he sighs. “But honestly, me, too.”

❄️☕❄️

Minseok is, of course, stupidly good at hockey for someone who’s never tried it before. He’s not the fastest, but he navigates the ice with a dancer’s grace, already knows the best angles of approach to shoot for the corners of a goal, and cackles with glee when he manages to successfully shoulder-check a much bigger guy that tries to reach around him to steal the puck during the warmup, sending him to the ice in a tangle of limbs that Minseok escapes by jumping over the guy’s legs like it’s no big deal.

Their centre, Joonki, really is as good as Kyungsoo said. He doesn’t take a lot of shots himself but sends the puck to Minseok or Kyungsoo to whang at the poor beat-up mannequin, dressed in thick leg and hand padding and with a wider hockey stick taped in place to “defend the five-hole” between the fake goalie’s legs.

The other one of Kyungsoo’s pals on their team, Woobin, is playing defense along with another resort guest they’d recruited, a solemn-faced guy called Taekwoon that does more nodding than actual speaking.

Taekwoon is at the resort with a cheerful guy called Hakyeon, who’d been amused to join the other team and make exaggerated snarly faces at Taekwoon whenever they end up face to face. Their centre is a kid called Jongin that Minseok actually knows from the SeoulArts dance program they’re both in, resulting in some good-natured trash talk between the two. 

Chanyeol’s playing their right winger in direct opposition to Kyungsoo, and their defense are two more of Kyungsoo’s fellow employees, a stocky little guy called Kibang and a friendly-off-the-ice, aggressive-on-the-ice brute called Jongkook that Minseok had knocked down earlier. A guy called Kwangsoo acts as the ref, perpetually chosen on the grounds that he’s both too clumsy to be an effective player and ridiculously tall, enabling him to oversee the action better.

“Let’s have a nice, clean game, gentlemen,” Kwangsoo says with a smirk, holding the puck in the air as Jongin and Joonki face off. This is met with resounding laughter, then the puck drops and the dick-measuring begins.

Chanyeol ends up flat on the ice within the first ten seconds as Kyungsoo blows past him to accept Joonki’s pass and slap the puck high into a corner of the goal. Minseok doubles over with laughter and Kwangsoo sounds an airhorn as he skates to retrieve the puck. Baekhyun and Jongdae both jump at the unexpected noise, clapping mittens over their earmuffs and trading a bemused look.

The players reset at the mostly-straight line spray-painted in the center of the ice. Minseok’s still leaning heavily on his stick as his fit of laughter continues, wiping tears from his eyes with the end of Jongdae’s scarf. This allows Hakyeon to easily evade him, but his attempt at a goal is blocked by Woobin.

“Suck it up, Seokkie, or it’s them who’ll be laughing by the end of it,” the defender chides, passing the puck up to Joonki.

“Yessir,” Minseok calls, suppressing further chuckles and studiously avoiding looking at Chanyeol, who has been scowling ever since he hit the ice.

The game stays pretty even, the competency of Kyungsoo’s pals making up for the novices on their teams. But Kyungsoo ensures Chanyeol’s stick never touches the puck, outskating him every time to shoot or intercept or otherwise make that edge of the ice a one-man show.

Eventually, Chanyeol’s frustration comes to a head. Kyungsoo tugs Baekhyun’s scarf down enough to make a kissy-face across the line at Chanyeol during a face-off. Chanyeol drops his stick and swings his fist at those taunting lips, but Kyungsoo rears back out of reach.

“Is that what we’re doing, Park? Throwing hands?”

“You fucking asked for it,” Chanyeol fumes.

“So did you,” Kyungsoo answers, then he delivers a sharp jab to Chanyeol’s side that has him crumpling to the ice with a yelp, arms wrapped protectively around his torso.

“Do Kyungsoo!” Kwangsoo bellows, holding his arm straight up in the air. “Five for fighting, you miniscule menace!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kyungsoo says, skating over to the folding chair evidently set up for the purpose. There’s a broken hockey stick taped to the back of it, topped by a cardboard sign with the words  _ I was naughty _ in roughly-scribbled Sharpie followed by a frowny-face.

Jongin helps Chanyeol to his feet for the second time, murmuring something to him that Baekhyun can’t make out. But Chanyeol nods, sets his jaw, and takes advantage of the empty lane, scoring twice off of Jongin’s passes before Kyungsoo skates back into position. This brings the teams even, which is where the score stays for a while as the defenders do their jobs well.

The next time Kyungsoo gets ahold of the puck, the other team drifts toward that side, evidently expecting another slapshot on the goal. But at the last minute, Kyungsoo shoots a pass to Minseok, who dodges around an unprepared Jongkook to send the puck into the unguarded edge of the goal.

The airhorn goes off again, followed by another face-off. Both teams fight hard for the puck, but it doesn’t make it anywhere near either goal before Kwangsoo checks his watch and sounds the airhorn again.

“That’s game, boys!”

Kyungsoo’s team cheers as Chanyeol’s team groans, but most of the players follow up by shaking hands or trading hugs with their opponents. Chanyeol looks rather like he’d like to trade fists again with Kyungsoo, jaw jutting forward and eyes hard.

“You didn’t say you were a fucking  _ pro,” _ he complains. “This whole game was a setup.”

“Of course it was,” Kyungsoo laughs, skating backwards away from Chanyeol. “But I’m not a pro. I’m just an enthusiastic amateur.”

“And an asshole.”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Least I can keep it in my pants—how could you have an awesome guy like Baek but throw everything away for a one-night stand?”

“I was fucking drunk,” Chanyeol defends. “And I’m fucking  _ sorry, _ okay?” He turns to the bench where Baekhyun and Jongdae are huddled together like two birds on a wire. “Baek, I’m so fucking sorry. I was a moron. I know I fucked up really badly, but I came on this trip to apologize, ask you to forgive me. To ask you to take me back, let me make it up to you.”

All the swagger is gone, replaced by puppyish earnesty. “C’mon, Baek. We were good together, weren’t we?”

Baekhyun pulls in a cedar-scented breath through Kyungsoo’s scarf. “We were good together,” he acknowledges. 

Chanyeol’s face spreads into a grin, but Kyungsoo’s drops. Eyes on the ice, he turns away.

“But that’s over now,” Baekhyun says firmly. 

Both guys freeze.

“I forgive you, Chanyeol. I know you didn’t intend to hurt me so deeply. I don’t hate you or anything, but I’m really happy with what I have now. With  _ who _ I have now.”

Kyungsoo turns back towards him, and Baekhyun prays the hope on his face isn’t just part of the act. That the act hasn’t really  _ been _ an act, not when Chanyeol wasn’t around to see them.

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to drop his gaze to the ice as he nods sadly. “I knew I had no chance as soon as I saw you two together. He obviously makes you really happy.”

“He does,” Baekhyun agrees. “I hope you find someone to make you just as happy.”

Jongdae coos, but Baekhyun’s heart is thumping at the realization that, despite their brief acquaintance, despite the entire premise of their relationship being false, he really does like Kyungsoo. His humor, the way he treats Baekhyun, the way he gets along with Baekhyun’s best friends. Too bad it’s all for show—or is it?

Hope springs as Kyungsoo beams at Baekhyun, a radiant, sunny smile that makes him reach up to pull down the tinted ski goggles he’s not actually wearing. Then Kyungsoo schools his face into respectful tranquility, turning to offer Chanyeol his hand. “Sorry about the punch, man. You actually played pretty well for a first-timer—those power play goals were great shots. Good game. No hard feelings—on my end, at least.”

Chanyeol looks down at Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand, jaw still set. Then he sighs, shoulders slumping a little as he reaches to shake Kyungsoo’s hand.

“Good game,” he echoes. “No hard feelings—unless you don’t make Baek as happy as he deserves to be.”

“Ah, he’s ultimately responsible for his own happiness, isn’t he? But I’ll do my best not to let him down.”

Chanyeol nods, Kyungsoo nods, and they release each other. Kyungsoo skates over to sit beside Baekhyun on the bench as Jongin glides over, throwing an arm around Chanyeol’s dejected shoulders and shepherding him toward the skate return. Minseok finishes trading numbers with Taekwoon and Hakyeon, then skates toward their bench, pausing briefly to touch Chanyeol’s elbow and say something to him that makes him nod from beneath Jongin’s arm and give Minseok a watery smile.

“What did you say to Yeol?” Jongdae asks as Minseok cozies up beside him.

“I apologized for laughing and told him I’d still work on that collab with him and Yixing, if he wanted. He’s an idiot but he’s still a good musician. We’ll all three end up with good grades and it’ll be easy if we work together, so.” He pulls his scarf up to cover Jongdae’s eyes when he coos at him.

“It’s so hard to find a good collab,” Kyungsoo mourns. “I’ve got a minor in vocals, and I’m supposed to form a trio for the end-of-year recital.”

“You can sing?” Baek blinks at Kyungsoo as Dae sucks in an anticipatory breath.

“I’m decent,” Kyungsoo says, in the way someone who knows they’re great does so as not to seem like they’re bragging.

“Baek and I need a third for that same recital,” Jongdae says, smile wide. “Wanna hit the lodge’s karaoke room later?”

“Sounds great,” Kyungsoo agrees, throwing an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders and squeezing. “I mean, if Baek wants?”

Baekhyun nods. If they’re singing together, he might have more time to convince Kyungsoo to actually date him, instead of this heart-torturing he-likes-me, he-likes-me-not.

“But this means I’ll have to think of somewhere else to take you on our first date,” Kyungsoo sighs. “Karaoke is kind of my go-to.”

Baekhyun hums, doing more than a little acting himself to pretend he’s not about to have a glee-induced heart attack. “Doesn’t the resort have a nightclub? With dancing on Saturday nights?”

Kyungsoo nods, eyes flicking to Minseok when he makes an excited little noise. “Should we make it a double date?”

“Okay with me,” Baek says, turning to his friends. “Wanna be our chaperones?”

“I plan to get toasted and shake what I got,” Minseok declares. “I’ll be in no condition to chaperone anyone.”

“Ahh, looks like I’ll have my hands full chaperoning my wanton dance freak,” Jongdae sighs. “Guess you boys are on your own.”

“Does this mean I can buy you a drink and take advantage of you?” Kyungsoo asks, brow raised.

_ “One _ drink,” Baekhyun states. “And then  _ I _ plan to take advantage of  _ you.” _

“Works for me.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t deploy the full heart-shaped smile very often, but when he does, it’s devastating. Fucking magnitude 5.0 quake, epicenter: the heart of Byun Baekhyun. Enamored, he leans toward his destruction, his own lips curving to match as they gently collide with Kyungsoo’s.

His lips are warm and soft and he hums as he moves them against Baekhyun’s, which easily part at the request of Kyungsoo’s tongue. It feels so good to taste someone again, to pull Kyungsoo closer despite the material of their bulky jackets rasping between them.

“Eeeewwww,” Jongdae whines. “We are in a public—”

“Shut up, since when do  _ you _ care about PDA?,” Minseok laughs. “If you don’t wanna watch Kyungsoo win at tonsil hockey, too, then close your eyes and kiss me instead. I’ll let you have your very own power play.”

“Not out here—I’m fucking freezing. Let’s go inside, then I’ll be happy to take unprotected shots on your five-hole.”

Minseok’s responding hum of agreement is filthy, and then the pair of them are gone.

Kyungsoo chuckles against Baekhyun’s mouth. “Kissing you is as fun as I’ve been imagining,” he murmurs, lips still brushing together.

“Oh yeah?” Baekhyun steals another kiss. “What else have you been imagining?”

“You could come with me to my room and find out.”

“Or we could go to  _ my _ room, which has a huge resort bed with a wobbly headboard that just so happens to whack against the wall to Min and Dae’s room when jostled,” Baekhyun suggests, pulling back to smirk at his brand-new actual genuine boyfriend. “I’m in the mood for a little more revenge.”

“I’m great at revenge.”

“I know,” Baekhyun says, stealing another kiss. “It’s one of your many charm points.” He prods Kyungsoo toward the skate shack. “Let’s go inside so you can show me a few more.”

“With pleasure.”

The headboard turns out to be delightfully noisy, as do Kyungsoo’s lusty cries, proving Jongdae’s theory about dignified-in-public guys to be correct. Still, Jongdae’s whine is so loud as to be audible from Baekhyun’s room despite the vigorous activities therein.

“Oh my god. Were we that bad?”

“Yes!” Baekhyun yells, partly to answer his friend’s question and partly because the position they’ve just shifted to is much more satisfactory.

There’s silence from the other side of the wall after that. Smiling, Baekhyun just lets his own cries get even louder.

Revenge sure is sweet. Maybe even sweeter than schnapps and cocoa.

❄️☕❄️

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Dubious Bingo Square Claims:
> 
> -Try to make "fetch" happen  
> Sehun is specifically asked to "fetch" a drink by Kyungsoo. Like a good maknae, he obediently brings what his hyung requested.
> 
> -Fighting on the ice, fucking off the ice  
> Kyungsoo fights Chanyeol on the ice (a little). Later, he and Baek fuck off the ice (a lot).
> 
> -We call everything on the ice love  
> Kyungsoo instigates the hockey game to punish Chanyeol on Baekhyun's behalf. Totally counts as love, I'm calling it love, we're calling it love, okay?
> 
> -What happens off planet stays off planet  
> No extra-terrestrial occurrences affect the plot of this fic in any way. They all stay off planet. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic despite all my incurred penalties!


End file.
